CHANGE OF PACE - RANT & SMILE

There are so many undercurrents and pressures building up in the Middle East specially on Israel, that it's exhausting and giving some people a headache. Iranians - INCLUDING the Mullahs are also stressing out as brinkmanship is hovering an attack over their heads and worrying those in the West with families back home. So, a change of pace and some very soft humor. Lots of serious stuff coming down the pike. Current earthquakes could be a precursor to man made earth shaking after the US nuclear carrier arrives in the region. Regarding many of those in Iran, the 65% under the age of 30-years and children of parents who created this whole mess (with lots of help from Jimmy Carter and the Soviets) I say: "you made your bed now lie in it". Hard watching so many worthy and valuable former people of importance in Iran's monarchy working as food servers in schools, or three and four star generals in low level jobs because they were honest. Nor did they deserve the death and destruction that the parents of the current Iranian youth inflicted on them and their families. And on me for that matter. May sound heartless but many innocents will die if the West attacks Iran but as they say in Farsi "Nousheh-joun-e-toun". What goes around comes around. End of rant, now the smile. Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her mother, "Why is the bride dressed in white?" "Because white is the color of happiness, and today is the happiest day of her life." The child thought about this for a moment, then asked, "So why is the groom wearing black?" <><><><><><> <><><><> A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she could, trying not to be late for Mass. As she ran she prayed, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!" While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again. As she ran, she once again began to pray, "Dear Lord, please don't let me be late... And please, don't shove me either!" <><><><><><> <><><><> A religion teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem . A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby-sitter? " <><><><><><> <><><><> Three boys are in the school yard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50." The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100." The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon, and it takes eight people to collect all the money!" <><><><><><> <><><><> An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male pallbearers. In her handwritten instructions for her memorial service, she wrote, "They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead." <><><><><><> <><><><> A police recruit was asked during the exam, "What would you do if you had to arrest your own significant other?" "Call for backup," he responded. AMEN BROTHER! <><><><><><> <><><><> The religion teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor thy father and thy mother," she asked "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." <><><><><><> <><><><> In religion class they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs. Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and said, "Johnny, what is the matter?" Little Johnny responded, "I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife." <><><><><><> <><><><> Two boys were walking home from church after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, "What do you think about all this Satan stuff?" The other boy replied, "Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad." <><><><><><>